


Not So Secret Diary ( KageHina )

by rosesandmilk



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Hinata has a crush on Kageyama, Implied Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, M/M, Pool Party, embarrassed!hinata, hinata has trouble keeping his cool, hinatas diary, kageyama is mysterious af, may turn mature, maybe get dirty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-06-09 19:59:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6920974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosesandmilk/pseuds/rosesandmilk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hinata Shouyou has a crush on Kageyama Tobio. Not just a small, tiny crush, but a crush he's had for years on end. Oikawa asks Hinata to use his pool to have a Spring Break party - and when Kageyama shows up, everything that Hinata has built up falls down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hinata made a mistake!

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I have written that I've thought is good enough to post. I only post works that I would personally read so this took a bit :P anyways, enjoy ~

Every day is the same. I wake up in the morning, squirm into some shorts, pull on a t-shirt and ride my squeaky, old bike to school. The first half of my day isn't the nicest. I have math first thing in the morning, and I usually get yelled at for falling asleep. It's at 7:30 in the morning, who could blame me? At first, people would laugh. Now it's just a part of life. They don't even glance at me when the teacher raises his voice from across the room to get me to lift my head from the desk. There's a heavy force pulling my head down onto my desk every morning, I swear.

Second period is nothing better. Why do we even have to learn about history? We could just watch the History Channel if we want to learn about it. I'm a bit more awake by that class, because the thought of what comes next is too good to sleep through. Next period is probably my favorite class of the day. I constantly check the clock to see if any time has passed, but it seems that time has altogether stopped.

"Shouyou! Pay attention!" I hear my name being called sharply at the front of the classroom. I instinctively move my head towards the sound and see a map projected onto the white board. It had the shape of Africa. We must be learning about ancient tribes or something. Everyone else had a seafoam-green-colored packet of papers stapled together, with a bit of writing on the top few questions. I stared blankly down at my fresh copy, left untouched while I dozed off. I scribbled my name on top of it and stared at the dim projection on the white board. 

Our school wasn't the greatest. The bulky computers in the computer lab were probably from when computers were first invented, and the atmosphere in there smelled like sweat and Febreze, trying to cover up the rancid odor. It didn't do much. The whiteboards were chipped and cracked towards the edges, reminding me of a clumsy person's phone screen. Perhaps the worse thing about it was the cafeteria. They gave you cold pizza if you wanted a lunch from school, and if anyone complained, they got a detention. The cafeteria doubled as a gym, so all the clocks were broken. At least they gave us tables to sit at.

I was pulled out of my thoughts at the sound of crinkling papers and zippers, and the teacher saying, "Don't pack up yet! We still have a few more minutes!" I shoved the thin bundle of papers into my backpack without breaking eye contact with him, pretending like I was listening attentively. I would, of course, get the packet done later in the day, as I always did. Finally, when the piercing alarm of the release bell was heard overhead, everyone bolted out of their seats and rushed to the door, murmuring with their friends. I didn't have many friends in my history class, except for Yamaguchi, but he was busy talking with Tsukki. Besides, I didn't have time to talk to friends during history. My next class was frustrating enough. I had P.E. next.

As I walked along the loud hallway, I tried to look for someone. I always took the long way to see if they were here everyday. As I turned the corner, I saw who I was looking for. Kageyama Tobio. As always, he was walking with Oikawa and Iwaizumi. Kuroo wasn't anywhere to be seen. Maybe he got another suspension. I couldn't see his face, but I could tell it was Kageyama from the carefree way he walked and his silk-like black hair. Even though this way took longer to get to the locker room, there was a tiny switch in my brain telling me it was worth it being able to see him. Even though I could barely breathe around him.

When I got into the locker room, I was hit with a smell of sweat and cheap cologne. I hurried to the row my locker was in, which was thankfully not in the same row as Kageyama's. I probably would have died. He was assigned the row next to me, though, so I could secretly peek through the corner of my eye.. No, that sounds like I'm a perv. I'm not, really. I twisted the combo lock on my locker and forced it open, taking out my gym clothes. I discretely took off my normal shirt and replaced it with the school-provided one, and same with my shorts. 

After the gym teacher had taken role, (No, Kuroo was not here after all and Oikawa shouted out that his "poor Kuroo had a cold") we started to set up nets. We had a volleyball unit right now, which I was super excited about until I learned that the gym teacher only liked it his way (which was wrong) and wouldn't let me play how I usually do it. It's also hard when nobody else knows how to serve. But, I didn't complain and helped get the volleyballs out from the storage closet. What really surprised me is that Kageyama knew how to play pretty good. Usually the um, *ahem* popular kids only were good at basketball, football, and other famous sports. Kenma wasn't here either, so I didn't have a partner. I just stood around at the corner of the cafeteri- gym, watching other people chatter and get into groups of two to practice serving and getting the ball over the net.

"Does everyone have a partner?" called the teacher.

"I don't." I looked towards the voice, which I instantly recognized. Kageyama. He raised his hand and walked over to where the P.E. teacher was standing. The teacher looked around swiftly and spotted me, and I felt my heart practically fall to the floor. 

"Kageyama, Hinata." He said blandly. He walked away, leaving us to ourselves as he yelled at other pairs of people for not doing it right.

I felt like my life was over. As Kageyama casually walked towards me, I felt embarrassed because my heart was probably beating loud enough for him to hear it. He passed me a volleyball and I barely caught it. I knew I had to prove myself to him, though, because working with someone without skills is frustrating. I don't know what I would do if he started to hate me.

I tossed the ball low into the air and hit it swiftly, causing it to go over the net so that Kageyama and I could play together. Right as I passed it to him, the teacher came over to me screeching my name and showing me that I should push it upwards, underhand. I stared straight at him, pretending like I was listening, but I would keep serving it the way I knew even if he gave me two weeks detention. 

"Hinat-..!" Kageyama warned from across the net, but it was too late. As the teacher was talking to me Kageyama hit the ball and didn't realize until it went over the net that I was being disciplined. I felt a sharp pain hit the side of my head and I was pushed backwards, stumbling and falling on the ground. I felt a few voices call my name and I put my hand up to the wound instinctively. I saw a pair of familiar black shoes come towards me and looked upwards to the face that matched the shoes. He looked at me with only a little concern, knowing that if he didn't care at all then BAM detention for not respecting people. 

"You okay?" He said in his slightly deep voice. I noticed his face, and this was probably the only time I've looked directly into his eyes. They were a light, icy blue color that made me dazed every time I saw them. I paused for a few seconds before doing something I never would have expected. I could have just said 'yeah' or 'I'm okay' but instead, I did something so terrible that I regretted it immediately 

"The person you're tossing to has to know that you're passing them the ball, idiot!" I angrily blurted out. I realized what I had said a second later and I felt my face heat up instantly, and I didn't know my face could get any warmer in this blazing hot gym. 

When I saw Kageyama's face I knew I screwed up. He looked really ticked off and responded with, "You didn't think I knew that?! You should have been watching the ball!" 

"Awhh, Chibi-chan is feisty today!~" I heard Oikawa call from the background, and Kageyama walked over towards Oikawa and Iwaizumi, partnered up. 

Luckily the teacher was kind enough to let me to go the office, and I said that I wanted to go home. I told them my house was close enough to walk home, and that my head didn't hurt that bad, I just wanted to make sure. I biked home and opened the door to the empty house. Both my parents were at work so I came home to still air and a recently vacuumed living room. I trudged my feet to my room and flung my empty backpack onto the floor. Falling onto my bed sheet, I tried to get the horrible thoughts out of my head, but I knew they couldn't be ignored. I clung to my my pillow and let tears consume me. Later, I wrote down all my thought into my "diary". It's more to just let pieces of paper handle my feelings so I don't have to.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oikawa is gayest person liek ever

The next day at school, I was even more quiet than usual. You could say that I was an outgoing person, but I'm actually not. I just blurt out stuff when I'm not supposed to. I actually tried to focus on my morning work, to get my mind off of- Never mind. I don't want to even have the thought cross my mind. Today, of all days, the clock seemed to go faster. I didn't want to go to P.E. at all today, but I knew that if I skipped my parents would want a presentable answer to why I skipped. Avoiding your crush isn't a real answer, even I knew that. I didn't even come out to them yet. 

As much as I concentrated on my work, the bell releasing us from second period still rang. Today I took the short route, finding Kenma on my way there and walking with him. I couldn't tell him what happened, he wouldn't understand. He was never in a relationship, and he barely even had many friends. I decided to fake it and pretend like I was fine. As much as I hated lying to Kenma, I felt that this was something I couldn't let him know.

We quickly got to the locker room, with the plain old orange lockers as usual. I felt weight lifted from my back as I saw that Kageyama wasn't there yet. I continued my process of dressing in the gym uniform as I heard someone getting yelled at for spraying more cologne. Kageyama walked lazily into the locker room, followed by Oikawa, Iwaizumi, and Kuroo. He was here today. I strictly avoided eye contact, or even glimpses, at Kageyama. I didn't know if he was still mad about yesterday. I know that even little things like staring can trigger someone. As much as I wanted to desperately see his amazing features, I didn't want to upset him more.

When we were called out, I walked with Kenma, hoping he would choose me as his partner. But right as the teacher dismissed us to go find a partner and get a volleyball, Kuroo walked up sheepishly to Kenma, and I was a little confused. 

"Hey, uh, Kenma, do you have a partner..?" Kenma simply stated that he didn't, because he hadn't chosen me yet. I guess Kuroo took that as a 'yes, I'll be your partner' and smiled, motioning him over to play volleyball with him. Since Kuroo and Kageyama were usually partners - oh shit. Kageyama will be my partner again? I guess that's okay as long as I just don't open my fat mouth.. But it's not like I could ruin anything more than it has already been ruined.

I again stood awkwardly alone until the teacher announced we would be partners once more. I refused to look Kageyama straight in the eye. I ran over to the bin at the side of the gym grabbed a deflated volleyball - it was one of the last ones in the bucket. All of the good ones had been taken. I took a place at the far side of the net and attempted to bounce the ball, but it only did a small hop before lying still on the ground. "No good.." I whispered to myself before serving the ball over the net. Or, at least, attempting to. I watched Kageyama dive forward for the ball, which barely went over the net, and felt a strange sort of feeling. It was like I was surprised, but also proud. At least someone here knows how volleyball works.

Heat prickled up my spine when Kageyama glanced at me a few times while the teacher was explaining how the setup for volleyball was. It didn't make me feel any better. I only got his attention by making him mad. Not the best way to make him notice me.

We were separated into teams quickly. Four teams, two games. I wasn't on Kageyama's team, or even playing him, for a fact. I tried to advert my vision from him, but it's hard when nobody else on your "team" knows how to play. I at least had Kenma, and he was pretty good. He played a bit, but not often. The players on the other side of the gym clumsily tried to get the ball passed to them, but bumped into each other and the ball hit the shiny flooring. 

Eventually, we ended up winning. I couldn't remember the score, but it was something like 26 to 1. Taking off my plain gym shirt, I felt a strong heated feeling on my bare back. I looked back, glancing. Kageyama stared up at me from the wooden bench he was sitting at. Damn, why does he have to keep looking at me? Maybe he knows it makes me feel worse. I changed even quicker than usual, then went to Kenma to pretend I was involved in a conversation. Just to get his attention off of me.

I avoided Kageyama for the rest of the day. 

That is, until Oikawa came up to me with his little group of friends following behind.

"Chibi-Chan! You know how spring break is coming up?" He said in a sing-song voice. I nodded instinctively. "Well.. I've been asking around and I heard that you have a pool?"

I was confused and shocked that he knew. Only a few people knew about my parent situation. My dad lived a few cities away, and I visited him twice a month. My mom didn't want her "precious baby" away for every weekend. But, with Oikawa's looks, I bet he could get someone to admit to murder. The shock wore off as I came up with the reasonable explanation behind his knowing.

"Yeah. My dad does." I responded, careful with my word choice. Kageyama was right behind Oikawa, piercing my flesh with his deep blue eyes.

Oikawa's eyes lit up with delight and he grinned. "Okay! If we can use it for a small get-together, that would be awesome! We can bring our own food, and we'd pay you." Oikawa looked at me hopefully. If I said no they obviously wouldn't talk to me again, including Kageyama. 

I hesitated for a fraction of a second. "Sure, okay. How many people would there be..?"

Oikawa clicked his tongue. "Oh, maybe.. At the most ten." He smiled when I nodded my head.

We had a quick chat, saying that this weekend would be good. Today was Thursday. I had about 24 hours to get my mental state good enough for Kageyama.. He would be swimming, I knew. That means more skin showing. I shivered as I thought about it.

As I walked home from school that day, my heart was still pounding. God, why do I have to be excited about every little thing he does? As hard as I tried to get the little, dirty thoughts about Kageyama out of my head, they kept coming back. Like mosquitoes in the summer, when you're the only person outside. I rushed my pace on the paved road to my house, and opened the door. I ran up the carpeted stairs to my room, and slipped the diary out from under my bed. 

The pencil started writing on it's own, and I ended up writing a little more of my feelings than I needed too.. Lets just hope nobody else finds it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata has to call Oikawa to make plans. Also, hinata is in love with kageyama. as always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize this fic makes absolutely no fucking sense since I keep forgetting what I wrote for the last chapter. oops. enjoy anyways.

I woke up this morning to a pale sunrise, speckled with tiny clouds, and realized it was in fact Saturday. My mom would probably not let me go to my dad's, so I had to call Oikawa (who very willingly gave his number) and let him know we can't do the hangout today. It was only the first day of spring break, too. Oikawa couldn't possibly be THAT desperate. The thought still was in my head as I lay lazily in my bed. I decided to get up and ask if I was going to go across the city today, to go meet up with my father. It was harder getting up than usual, though. I wasn't usually awake this early, and my legs felt like cement. Curse my brain for making me think of things so early in the morning.

"Mom?" My legs still felt heavy, but my brain was craving an answer to my internal question.

She was pouring cereal into a small porcelain bowl when she looked up at me, obviously surprised to see me up at this time. "What is it? Is something wrong?" 

"No; I just wanted to ask if today is 'The' weekend." I stretched my arms out and hopped onto a stool resting at the granite counter. 

"Oh, um, sure. Is that all you wanted to ask?" After a quick nod, her expression changed from worried to gentle. "Oh, good, I thought you weren't feeling good or something. It's a weekend, shouldn't you be sleeping til noon?" She gave me a sly glance from her bowl, which she was pouring cold milk into now.

I shrugged and put my head on the smooth granite counter top. It was alarming at first, because after 8 hours of warm comfort from my blanket, it was unnatural to feel how frigid the counter was. After a few seconds my body heat warmed it up to a normal temperature and I closed my eyes. I was still incredibly weary.

"You can go this weekend, to answer your question better." My mom said, breaking the silence. The coffee pot was brewing with a sound of machinery and dripping, but other than that, nobody had talked. I shifted my head and smiled up at her.

"Thanks." I said simply. I lifted my face from the granite and my cheek felt uncomfortably cold. I walked back to my room, hearing my mom crunching the cereal she just poured. I needed to call Oikawa. If I went to my dad's house this weekend, then I couldn't go next week. It has to be this Saturday or Sunday that Oikawa and his friends come over. Looking around my room, painted with white light from the sunrise, I saw my phone on my nightstand. 

I grabbed it, the case side facing up. Nothing special. Just a black phone case. I stood on my room's soft carpet as I scrolled through my contacts. It's not like I had hundreds, but Oikawa's name started with an 'O', near the end of the alphabet. When I got to it, I hesitated. Was Oikawa even up? I glanced at my alarm clock, also on my nightstand. It was only 8:50. Would he think I was a creep for calling this early? I quickly shook the thoughts out of my head, because I could just leave a message. I felt more comfortable leaving messages, anyways. No interrupting or conversations. They were always straight to the point.

After another few seconds of thinking, I pressed the 'call' button. My phone automatically started buzzing, letting me know it was calling him. I could just hang up, I could call later in the day so he wouldn't think I'm weird. But, something inside of me wanted to know an answer right now. Maybe so I wouldn't forget. Maybe so I could clean up the pool for them to use. 

After a few seconds, I heard a click and a pixelated voice say "Ah! Chibi-chan, is this about the pool?" My spine prickled. How did he know what my number was? I was also startled because I was pretty much counting on voice mail to save me.  
"Um, yeah. What day is good for you..? I'm only at my dad's house for the afternoon today and tomorrow." I spoke nervously into the phone, worried I would say something to make Oikawa want to cancel on me. I also was kind of caught up with thoughts of Kageyama.. Damn it.  
"Hmm, tomorrow! At noon!" Oikawa chirped from the speaker. He went on to explain who would be there, (when he mentioned Kageyama my heart almost fell out) and what things he would bring. I told him the address and everything he needed to know. I was so desperate for Kageyama to come over that I probably would have told Oikawa my social security number if it allowed Kageyama to be at my house. 

At the end of the call, I almost forgot what I said. I might have said something really weird, but I guess not, because Oikawa ended the call on a happy note. But now I needed to pack.

Getting out my old backpack from elementary school, I began to pick through my closet. The backpack was a bit small, meant for schoolwork, but I never really needed anything. My dad had a separate closet for me with a few items, so I never pack clothing. Maybe a shirt or two just in case, though. 

After a few minutes of hurrying around my room like a hamster on steroids, I was finally content with the items in the bag. A graphic t-shirt, flip flops, a phone charger. I had all those things there already but I'm always prepared for the worse. But, there was one thing that I didn't have at my dad's house. My diary. I had to have it, especially when Kageyama was going to be there. Will he talk to me? Will he ignore me completely? I'm not exactly sure, but I need to write down whatever happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ThaNK YOU to everyone who tells me how to make my chapters a lil' better. I tried to make this chapter go a little slower and be more descriptive, as suggested.
> 
> I love your comments and I love everyone who enjoys my fic ♥


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